♪

Original Lyrics by Natori
English Translyrics by Sena Kiryuin

* Lyrics

Found you and soon I was love-struck
A hollow and needy monster was born out of love
Still could be worthy of love, but
I see I’ve failed and now I’m out of luck

Why am I the only one stuck?
Down the drain it went my fleeting shower thought

Full of beautiful moments
But, all of it, I despised it

Plain mundane guy no matter what I do
Clinging on to a spell Bibbidy Bobbidiboo
In my daydreams I been sayin' pointless words
I declare my once in a lifetime love to you

What if I make a mistake today?
It’s a thought inside my mind and it aches to face
What if I become someone that you hate?
Spiraling within, then I hear something break

Did I slip?
Did I rush into this too quick?
Still could lead us to our love, but
You see I’m scared of the mistakes to hit

Why’s my heart invested?
Time and time again, questioning in my head
All of it, I despised it

I don’t mind at all
When our day ends on
Me showering you with my sacrifices

At times it feels wrong
The mess and the falls
Don’t know what we are, but I’m enchanted

Still drowning within the unknown
Not enough for you, that, I know
Watching your fleeting emotions
Walking down its path away
I feel it spilling out, all that aches to face

My heart's with you no matter what I do
My whole world keeps orbiting around you
Drowning in our tears together we’ll elope and find a home planet, all alone, us two

Plain mundane guy no matter what I do
Clinging on to a spell Bibbidy Bobbidiboo
In my daydreams I been sayin' pointless words
I declare my once in a lifetime love to you

What if I make a mistake today?
It’s a thought inside my mind and it aches to face
What if I become someone that you hate?
Spiraling within, then I hear something break

For you, I waited all night and day
Like the wind, only for you to drift away

Joy in my life
What could that feel like?
My head only spins, it’s so twisted!

For you, I waited all night and day
Like a star out of reach, so far away

Joy in my life
What could that feel like?
I don’t get why it has to be in this mess

What if I make a mistake today?
It’s a thought inside my mind and it aches to face

What if I become someone that you hate?
Spiraling within, then I hear something break

coffee caramels --

ingredients:
white sugar
instant espresso
heavy whipping cream
salt
a couple of ice cubes

equipment:
small steel (no teflon!) saucepan, ideally with thick walls
pastry brush - not strictly necessary but it helps
measuring cups
parchment paper

Mix two or three teaspoons of instant espresso with 1/3 cup of warm water. I usually just do this in the 1/3 cup measuring cup. More espresso will, of course, create a stronger coffee flavor. Add a pinch or two of salt to the shitty double espresso that you've just made and set it aside. Yum!

In a small saucepan, mix
1 cup white sugar
1/4 cup water

Put the saucepan on a burner at medium heat. While it's cooking, gently swish the sugar/syrup around so that it cooks evenly, using a watered pastry brush to brush crystals off the sides of the pan. Don't stir it! If you don't have a pastry brush to brush the sugar crystals off the side of the pan, you can scrape them off with a spoon or knife. Just make sure you have a bowl of water nearby to dunk your utensil in because now it's got blazing-hot half-molten rock candy stuck to it. In general, be careful, because your pan is full of _sugary napalm death_. You do _not_ want to get any of that on you.

Watch the color carefully; for this recipe you don't want to caramelize the sugar too much. When it's a nice deep orange-gold color, take it off the heat. You now have a pan of caramelized sugar waiting to be turned into caramel sauce or caramel candy.

Slowly, while stirring, pour 1/2 cup of heavy whipping cream into your pan of caramel. The caramelized sugar will freak the fuck out, bubbling up angrily and possibly becoming very thick. Don't worry, just keep stirring and pouring. When all the cream is in and the mixture has calmed down a little, mix in the shitty double espresso you set aside earlier.

Fill a small bowl with cold water, throw in a couple of ice cubes, and park it on your stove top. Return the saucepan full of caramel mixture to the burner, still on medium heat, and stir _frequently_. At this point you just want the caramel mixture to boil down until it's solid at room temperature. Along the way it will want to froth up a lot and maybe overflow your pot, so don't take your eyes off it. You can figure out how done the caramel is with a candy thermometer; at 250'F, it should be ready. However, I like to test it a different way, that's what the ice water is for. Once it's past the frothy stage, use your stir spoon to drip a few drops of the caramel into the ice water. Once the caramel forms a firm ball on contact with the water, you're done and you can take the pan of caramel off the heat again.

Line a square cake pan or some other receptacle with parchment paper. In a pinch, you can just put some parchment paper on a dinnerplate, whatever. Pour the hot caramel onto the parchment. The caramel will take at least four hours to set, maybe more. You can make it set faster by throwing it in the fridge, but then it'll pick up condensate and get sticky when you take it out and it hits the warm air. When it's fully set, you'll have a big old sheet of caramel, about 20-30cm on a side. You can cut it into squares and wrap them individually in wax paper if you're giving them as a gift or just enjoy ritual, or just hack off bits when you want caramel if you're a barbarian like me.

https://www.ambitiouskitchen.com/video-moms-authentic-puerto-rican-rice-and-beans/#comment-533402

When making from dried beans in the instant pot:

Ratio = 1 part kidney beans : 3 ½ parts water
Cook Time = 1hour 15 minutes
Release = 15 minute natural release, then release any remaining pressure

cxs in this fic is a cis man who spends a significant period inhabiting a woman's body. During that period, cxs is intermittently referred to with female pronouns in a way that is attempting to emulate how cxs's targets will flip between the original person's voice and cxs's voice in the show.

lg is experiencing weapons-grade horny pining throughout this fic, and there is one scene where he masturbates to thoughts of cxs in a clandestine fashion. lg is transgender ftm in this fic, and is referred to with male terminology for his junk.

cxs also has sex in a woman's body, and during that sequence he is referred to with both male and female pronouns, and with female genitalia terminology. He experiences body dysphoria during this sexual encounter, because he is a man. The pronouns used for cxs are intentionally confusing in this section, and may come across as misgendering, done as an attempt to illustrate the gender dysphoria he is experiencing. It's clear that cxs is having an awful time, and while has repeatedly and explicitly consented to what is happening, it's still dubious consent at best. This scene has some poly and voyeuristic overtones, and one person in the scene (the original NPC character) does not have knowledge of—and therefore cannot consent—to the full implications of, or the partners in, the sex he is having.

The dysphoria leads cxs to have multiple panic attacks, both during and after the dive. All of them are dissociative, and one panic attack additionally involves self-harm (scratching). lg helps him manage it both in the dive and afterward with various management techniques. Some of them don't work, and some of them are more aggressive than others. (I actually don't recommend doing the most dramatic panic-breaking method Lu Guang uses in this fic unless you know what you're doing; it can go wrong unless applied perfectly.)

When cxs is in his own body in a later sex scene, he is referred to with male pronouns and male genitalia terminology. However, there is transference from his experiences in a female body that make his gender feel more fluid than it usually does, and he experiences some gender confusion and body/gender dysphoria during this scene as well.

There is a happy ending.

Please take care, and leave a comment if you need any further information before reading.

I've been working on this mixtape since 2018

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From the webcomic johnny wander

2 large chicken breasts, cubed (or 2, maybe 3? blocks of tofu)
1 15oz can of pumpkin puree
1 15oz can of reduced sodium chicken broth. For my purposes I will probably take 1tbsp miso + water
1 8ox box of S&B Golden Curry
4 carrots, peeled and diced
3 big potatoes, peeled and diced
1 large onion, diced
2 garlic cloves, diced
1 tbsp ginger (grated fresh; 1/4 tsp ground ginger)
cream or milk to taste

Welcome vegetable additions: tomato, apple, sweet potato, peas, squash, eggplant, pepper, celery.

1. Add all ingredients, except milk, to slow cooker.
2. Just barely cover all ingredients with water.
3. Cover and cook - high 4h, low 8h. Stir every few hours.
4. Add cream to taste. Serve.

Freezes well. Pair with rice.

inspired by locals (girls like us) by underscores. akito and toya cameos.

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Makes 1 serving

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups milk (oat, almond, dairy, etc. - your choice)
1 1/2 teaspoon maple syrup
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract (optional - I omit it)
1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
1 big pinch cinnamon, to taste
1 pinch freshly ground black pepper (not optional - it boosts the benefits of the turmeric)

Mix all ingredients together in a mug. Warm in the microwave in one-minute intervals, mixing in between. When warmed up to your liking, enjoy!

CGR crunch time = mixtape time

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