Jan. 12th, 2026

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coffee caramels --

ingredients:
white sugar
instant espresso
heavy whipping cream
salt
a couple of ice cubes

equipment:
small steel (no teflon!) saucepan, ideally with thick walls
pastry brush - not strictly necessary but it helps
measuring cups
parchment paper

Mix two or three teaspoons of instant espresso with 1/3 cup of warm water. I usually just do this in the 1/3 cup measuring cup. More espresso will, of course, create a stronger coffee flavor. Add a pinch or two of salt to the shitty double espresso that you've just made and set it aside. Yum!

In a small saucepan, mix
1 cup white sugar
1/4 cup water

Put the saucepan on a burner at medium heat. While it's cooking, gently swish the sugar/syrup around so that it cooks evenly, using a watered pastry brush to brush crystals off the sides of the pan. Don't stir it! If you don't have a pastry brush to brush the sugar crystals off the side of the pan, you can scrape them off with a spoon or knife. Just make sure you have a bowl of water nearby to dunk your utensil in because now it's got blazing-hot half-molten rock candy stuck to it. In general, be careful, because your pan is full of _sugary napalm death_. You do _not_ want to get any of that on you.

Watch the color carefully; for this recipe you don't want to caramelize the sugar too much. When it's a nice deep orange-gold color, take it off the heat. You now have a pan of caramelized sugar waiting to be turned into caramel sauce or caramel candy.

Slowly, while stirring, pour 1/2 cup of heavy whipping cream into your pan of caramel. The caramelized sugar will freak the fuck out, bubbling up angrily and possibly becoming very thick. Don't worry, just keep stirring and pouring. When all the cream is in and the mixture has calmed down a little, mix in the shitty double espresso you set aside earlier.

Fill a small bowl with cold water, throw in a couple of ice cubes, and park it on your stove top. Return the saucepan full of caramel mixture to the burner, still on medium heat, and stir _frequently_. At this point you just want the caramel mixture to boil down until it's solid at room temperature. Along the way it will want to froth up a lot and maybe overflow your pot, so don't take your eyes off it. You can figure out how done the caramel is with a candy thermometer; at 250'F, it should be ready. However, I like to test it a different way, that's what the ice water is for. Once it's past the frothy stage, use your stir spoon to drip a few drops of the caramel into the ice water. Once the caramel forms a firm ball on contact with the water, you're done and you can take the pan of caramel off the heat again.

Line a square cake pan or some other receptacle with parchment paper. In a pinch, you can just put some parchment paper on a dinnerplate, whatever. Pour the hot caramel onto the parchment. The caramel will take at least four hours to set, maybe more. You can make it set faster by throwing it in the fridge, but then it'll pick up condensate and get sticky when you take it out and it hits the warm air. When it's fully set, you'll have a big old sheet of caramel, about 20-30cm on a side. You can cut it into squares and wrap them individually in wax paper if you're giving them as a gift or just enjoy ritual, or just hack off bits when you want caramel if you're a barbarian like me.

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